Anyway, I called up the vet and brought him in the first available slot we could get. For the sake of calming my paranoia, the vet suggested for several x-rays and left my baby to the x-ray room behind closed doors. When they came back, he was all cheery and excited. Then the vet left to check on the x-rays, closed the door behind her, left Toby and I in the tiny lil room. As usual, Toby loves pointing his damn ass right in my face when we are alone, and so he did. I tell ya, I almost gagged to death. I thought he farted in my face (which would have been a better situation compared to this). So when the vet came back, I asked, "Why does he smell so bad right now?". "Oh it's his anal glands, I had to manually express the glands during my checkup. (AKA, I fingered and pinched your dog's anus). In my head I was thinking, "Missy, it would have been nice if you give me a heads up before you did this to me... I mean my dog. He just rubbed his freaking ass in my face and now I have some anal gland juice in my nostrils)
The ride home was absolutely fun. I had my car windows rolled down and I had to drive like that scene from Ace Ventura sans the cracked windshield.
Pure, juicy anal gland on leather seat is the best combination you can get, juice wise. Now my car smells like an ass and I wish my passenger good luck, whoever going to sit next to me when I drive. You will smell like you just got your anus pinched. Do we have anal glands? Wait.. is it anus? It's rectum first then anus then anal opening right? So do we pinch the rectum or pinch the anus?
I am going to spray another can of air freshener now. Ciao!
2 comments:
Yikes, toby has a pimple?
I'll drive ya next time :D
Bleeding dog penis should be the name of a metal band. And their hit single can be "ass juice car seat".
I think I'd be far more freaked out than Toby seemed to be :P
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