Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Curiosity

Someone once asked: what's the difference between an attention seeker and a narcissist?
I don't have the answers...but did a little digging, wondering why is there a need for attention? Here's a short excerpt of the article.


"The need for attention"
Human beings are social creatures and need social interaction, feedback, and validation of their worth. The emotionally mature person doesn't need to go hunting for these; they gain it naturally from their daily life, especially from their work and from stable relationships. Daniel Goleman calls emotional maturity emotional intelligence, or EQ; he believes, and I agree, that EQ is a much better indicator of a person's character and value than intelligence quotient, or IQ.

The emotionally immature person, however, has low levels of self-esteem and self-confidence and consequently feels insecure; to counter these feelings of insecurity they will spend a large proportion of their lives creating situations in which they become the centre of attention. It may be that the need for attention is inversely proportional to emotional maturity, therefore anyone indulging in attention-seeking behaviours is telling you how emotionally immature they are.

Attention-seeking behaviour is surprisingly common. Being the centre of attention alleviates feelings of insecurity and inadequacy but the relief is temporary as the underlying problem remains unaddressed: low self-confidence and low self-esteem, and consequent low levels of self-worth and self-love.
Insecure and emotionally immature people often exhibit bullying behaviours, especially manipulation and deception. These are necessary in order to obtain attention which would not otherwise be forthcoming. Bullies and harassers have the emotional age of a young child and will exhibit temper tantrums, deceit, lying and manipulation to avoid exposure of their true nature and to evade accountability and sanction.


2 comments:

Teochew Kelz said...

Good post, Vick!

Question: How does one grow his/her EQ? It sure doesn't come with age.


VickieVic said...

haha no, even mine needs some increment :P perhaps a constant willing to learn and be open to criticism ( whether positive/negative ) and be humble is a good start?

Kelz! I ran 3 miles today!! :D I leg broke and fell off!